La Colmena Adentro

The longer I live here the less human I feel. I feel like I am slowly turning into something more organic, a compost perhaps? No, that´s no quite it... Bees have been buzzing around my head for days. Two days ago I picked one off of me thinking it was a stray hair. When that supposed hair buzzed its wings I freaked out. But that was my first clue that things we´re not right. The next day I had the sensation that there were bees resting in my hair. ¨It´s a bird´s nest not a bee´s nest¨ I told them. The joke was on me though because it wasn´t my hair they were interested in but the hive in my head. That´s right I have a beehive in my head. Honey drips out of my ears like Vermont maple syrup slow and sweet. I´ve already filled three jars today! My only complaint is the constant buzzing in my head. Buuzzzz Buzzzzzzz all day long.

At first I tried to swat them away. ¨Get out! Get out!¨ ¨¡Fuera!¨ But it was to no avail so I let them stay. Next to move in were the birds. They´ve been nesting outside my bedroom ever since I arrived and they have quite a lovely view but they wanted more. ¨Oohh,¨ they chirped, ¨I´ve always wanted to live with an American!¨ It was an easy transition since I lost my hair brush in Santiago. ¨Well since it seems I´ve build a better nest by accident than you on purpose, I suppose you can stay.¨

Next were the ants. Now they haven´t moved in, don´t get any clever ideas, but they use me as a bridge to cross the arroyo. When they first asked me to do it I was suspicious. ¨How´d you do it before?¨ I inquired- I wasn´t about to do an unnecessary favor.¨¨They replied simply, ¨we had another gringa doing it but she had to go home.¨ Okay, I shrugged. So now my day consists of sitting my bottom on one side of the arroyo and stretching both legs across to the other side. ¨You´re shorted than our last gringa,¨ they complain. ¨Watch it,¨ I warn.

Finally (I hope!) there was the spider. ¨May I?¨ She kindly asked. ¨Is your name Charlotte by chance?¨ ¨No, Silvia.¨ ¨Okay. Just wondering. Well I would let you Silvia but you see that I´m already opperating at maximum capacity. Where would you make your home? My head is filled with the birds and the bees. I´ve got the ants in my pants. I think it´s too dark for you in my stomach, not to mention other gastro-intestinal complications...¨ ¨I was thinking your belly-botton¨ she interuppted quietly. ¨Great!¨

Now I bet I can guess what you´re thinking- how would a spider make a web inside my belly-button? Well did you ever at any point in your life put your two thumbs and two pointer fingers together to make a diamond like shape and thus attempt to make the smallest hole you could possibly make that would still let in light? Well if you didn´t try it. If you did, then you know how small Silvia is. She´s a perfectionist though so I´ve had to pick out three webs already. I don´t mind though because a silk cottonball is a wonderful thing to own.

So you see? I feel more like the earth than I do like Lissie. And oh if you could only see me know. But I don´t think you can because I´m so covered in dirt and twigs. The army only wishes they could get their hands on this kind of quality camo. But for now I´m not serving the army, just a few fascinating creatures.